No one answers the question:
How are humans supposed to feel?
Begging the follow-up inquiry:
Do all mental states possess illness(es)?
Continue reading “We’re All Mad Here”Tag: borderline personality disorder
When Borderline Meets a Narcissist
Her memory takes hold,
When I never held her.
Magnetism drew us together,
Palpable at first encounter.
Our obstructive accompaniment,
Could never survive either’s journey.
Objectively knowing?
Does nothing for the heart.
Continue reading “When Borderline Meets a Narcissist”I’m Crazy, Not Stupid | Living with BPD
If only I would’ve been stupid,
It would’ve been unable to hide.
If therapists could’ve read my mind,
The diagnosis would’ve been easy.
Those 10 years of decay,
My symptoms were right there,
Finally reached the surface.
I’m not stupid,
But I was lifeless.
Continue reading “I’m Crazy, Not Stupid | Living with BPD”My Mind is Under New Management | Living with BPD & Bipolar
You did your job,
You protected the child.
You’re too good at your job,
I’m not a child anymore.
Continue reading “My Mind is Under New Management | Living with BPD & Bipolar”The Power of a Correct Diagnosis | Living with BPD
Confirming my soul was evil.
A single correct diagnosis?
Freed me from the delusion.
Like flipping a light switch,
My pain had a purpose.
Continue reading “The Power of a Correct Diagnosis | Living with BPD”Not Forgotten, Hidden | 9 BPD Symptoms: Dissociative Amnesia
Author’s Note: Terms matter. Words have deeper meanings than letters strung together for a common understanding. Language affects the very way humans perceive the world. That’s why everyone (including myself) should learn a new language vastly different than our native tongues — who knows what we could unlock!
“Dissociative symptoms are common in Borderline Personality Disorder, including memory loss (dissociative amnesia) for certain time periods, events, and people.” [Source]
Memory loss was called:
“Repressed memory.”
Reach in somewhere,
Grab something,
Stuck someplace,
Yank it forward.
THAT IS NOT IT.
Continue reading “Not Forgotten, Hidden | 9 BPD Symptoms: Dissociative Amnesia”B is for Business | Cluster B Personality Disorders
Borderline is part of “Cluster B” personality disorders, affectionately known as the “Dominant” or “Control” cluster. This is a short free-write exercise, but does not take my typical poetry format. Instead, think of it as a quick and dirty guide to Cluster Bs in the business world.
Cluster B Personality Disorders: 4 / 10 PDs
- Borderline
- Histrionic
- Narcissistic
- Antisocial
In 2020 USA, Cluster B is disproportionately represented in corporate leadership. Roughly 2-5% of USA adults have a Cluster B personality disorder, while experts estimate 8-12% of CEOs blatantly exhibit all of Cluster B’s traits.
How do symptoms often show up in business leadership?
Continue reading “B is for Business | Cluster B Personality Disorders”Dear Perfect Mormon | Internalized-Homophobia Poetry Therapy
Dear P,
To be honest,
You scared me.
You were the perfect Mormon example.
You were everything I wanted to be,
Everything I — needed to be.
So I chose to walk behind you,
Hoping you’d show me the way.
Show me how to be a good Mormon,
How to be a good heterosexual girl.
How to be good at all. . .
Continue reading “Dear Perfect Mormon | Internalized-Homophobia Poetry Therapy”Protected: How to Break Psychotic Hallucination | Living with Borderline PD
The 5th Time I Was Misdiagnosed | Living with BPD
Disclaimer: This poem DOES NOT mean you shouldn’t go to therapy! In fact, EVERYONE should go to therapy! However, if you think there is even a SLIGHT chance you have a personality disorder, GO TO AN EXPERT. Not a general therapist. Don’t make the same mistake I made 5 times. It took an expert 6 months to fully diagnose what 5+ years of various forms of therapy couldn’t even guess.
If you are a therapist, please read (or scroll) to the end for signs/clues you should know regarding the 9 symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.
When it happens 5 times,
You’re pretty sure it’s reality.
You must just be evil.
You must just be broken.
You must just be worthless.
It isn’t a disorder,
It’s you.
That was the fear.
No, not a fear —
That was the reality.
A reality.
Continue reading “The 5th Time I Was Misdiagnosed | Living with BPD”
Mindfully Messy 