Mental health, Buddhist teachings, and Lesbian poetry I hid in the depths of my soul for 20+ years.
Expressive arts therapy on dealing with PTSD flashbacks and trauma recovery.
What a cruel thing to do:
Making love look disgusting.
Something I had to avoid,
At all and every cost.
I refused it,
Just like you told me.
I hated it,
Just like you wanted.
Buried it deep down inside,
Extinguished it within me.
Continue reading “Cruel | Homophobic Trauma Recovery using Buddhism”Disclaimer: This poem DOES NOT mean you shouldn’t go to therapy! In fact, EVERYONE should go to therapy! However, if you think there is even a SLIGHT chance you have a personality disorder, GO TO AN EXPERT. Not a general therapist. Don’t make the same mistake I made 5 times. It took an expert 6 months to fully diagnose what 5+ years of various forms of therapy couldn’t even guess.
If you are a therapist, please read (or scroll) to the end for signs/clues you should know regarding the 9 symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.
When it happens 5 times,
You’re pretty sure it’s reality.
You must just be evil.
You must just be broken.
You must just be worthless.
It isn’t a disorder,
It’s you.
That was the fear.
No, not a fear —
That was the reality.
A reality.
Continue reading “The 5th Time I Was Misdiagnosed | Living with BPD”What could I do?
What could I say?
How could I stop them?
Tell them we aren’t a threat to them?
We aren’t immoral demons from below?
Explain why they’re taught to hate us?
How could I tell them,
When they wouldn’t hear me?
How would I tell them,
When I couldn’t breathe?
How could I tell them when they openly mocked my people?
How could I tell them when they openly debated my rights?
How could I tell them when they openly beat him into submission?
Should I have screamed over their taunting?
Forced myself between them and the Faggot?
So the Dyke can be tortured as well?
Continue reading “What Could a Young Lesbian Do? | Homophobia Poem”“I’m not getting married”
…to a man was unsaid.
Not imaginable, the day
Nor the flowers, or bouquet
What a day it could be!
Those purest gathered around us,
Sharing the moment two souls join in God.
“What will he look like?”
Why can’t I see him?
“What will he say to you?”
Why can’t I hear him?
“What will his personality be?”
Why can’t I imagine him?
“Imagine the blessed day,
your wedding day,
an eternal husband awaits.”
Why can’t I breathe?
Mindfully Messy 