lgbt – Mindfully Messy

How I Knew I Was a Lesbian at 4 Years Old

As my teacher explained God’s plan,

I remember these specific thoughts:

“That’s not me, I’m not in Heaven,

Why aren’t two married girls there?”

Prior to the moment I was told homosexuality was wrong,

I had to have known I was exclusively attracted to girls,

Otherwise it would not have been severely traumatic.

So I must have known prior to it,

Even right before that moment,

But what was the actual feeling?

What a cruel thing to do:

Making love look disgusting.

Something I had to avoid,

At all and every cost.

I refused it,

Just like you told me.

I hated it,

Just like you wanted.

Buried it deep down inside,

Extinguished it within me.