“You Don’t Look Like a Lesbian”

“You haven’t met the right guy.”

“How’d you know you don’t like it,

If you have never tried it?”

“Sexuality is fluid.”

“Everyone’s a little bit gay.”

“You weren’t born like that.”

“Someone must have hurt you.”

“But I could turn you straight.”


A year ago today:

I couldn’t sleep,

I hadn’t in a week.

All I did was write,

All was left to post.

Finally revealing truth,

Ceasing conversion attempts.


Lesbian:

A homosexual woman.

I don’t “identify” as,

I just am.


“Coming out” what an exhausting concept,

Coming up every time I meet someone.

Anytime they offer to set me up with a man,

Or assume the woman I’m with is my friend.

Whether it’s work, 

At a bar,

On the street,

Or someone’s home…

It has to be known.


For most of my lifetime,

Homophobia’s main root:

A conservative religion.

Conversion therapy’s thorny vines,

Hell awaiting upon my failure.

It wasn’t until coming out,

Unfortunately uncovered:

Liberal atheists aren’t immune.

Phrasing it diff’rently,

But it equals the same.


From in to outside the queer community:

Homophobia’s integral to society,

After years appears inherent internally.

No corporate pandering,

Nor gay pastors can fix it.


The key to being a lesbian is:

Ignore everything everyone says,

Including your internalized fear.

Unlearn the hatred taught to you,

And reject new versions of it.


Author’s Note: Pretend this was published a week ago for the last day of Pride month 🙂

Brittan began writing poetry in June 2020. She uses poetry as a therapeutic exercise when revisiting homophobic traumatic memories and describing life with BPD & Bipolar 2. She uses poetry as a medium for self-expression when discussing Buddhismlesbianism, and platonic love.

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