“You haven’t met the right guy.”
“How’d you know you don’t like it,
If you have never tried it?”
“Sexuality is fluid.”
“Everyone’s a little bit gay.”
“You weren’t born like that.”
“Someone must have hurt you.”
“But I could turn you straight.”
A year ago today:
I couldn’t sleep,
I hadn’t in a week.
All I did was write,
All was left to post.
Finally revealing truth,
Ceasing conversion attempts.
A homosexual woman.
I don’t “identify” as,
I just am.
“Coming out” what an exhausting concept,
Coming up every time I meet someone.
Anytime they offer to set me up with a man,
Or assume the woman I’m with is my friend.
Whether it’s work,
At a bar,
On the street,
Or someone’s home…
It has to be known.
For most of my lifetime,
Homophobia’s main root:
A conservative religion.
Conversion therapy’s thorny vines,
Hell awaiting upon my failure.
It wasn’t until coming out,
Liberal atheists aren’t immune.
Phrasing it diff’rently,
But it equals the same.
From in to outside the queer community:
Homophobia’s integral to society,
After years appears inherent internally.
No corporate pandering,
Nor gay pastors can fix it.
The key to being a lesbian is:
Ignore everything everyone says,
Including your internalized fear.
Unlearn the hatred taught to you,
And reject new versions of it.
Author’s Note: Pretend this was published a week ago for the last day of Pride month 🙂
Brittan began writing poetry in June 2020. She uses poetry as a therapeutic exercise when revisiting homophobic traumatic memories and describing life with BPD & Bipolar 2. She uses poetry as a medium for self-expression when discussing Buddhism, lesbianism, and platonic love.