“You haven’t met the right guy.”
“How’d you know you don’t like it,
If you have never tried it?”
“Sexuality is fluid.”
“Everyone’s a little bit gay.”
“You weren’t born like that.”
“Someone must have hurt you.”
“But I could turn you straight.”
A year ago today:
I couldn’t sleep,
I hadn’t in a week.
All I did was write,
All was left to post.
Finally revealing truth,
Ceasing conversion attempts.
Lesbian:
A homosexual woman.
I don’t “identify” as,
I just am.
“Coming out” what an exhausting concept,
Coming up every time I meet someone.
Anytime they offer to set me up with a man,
Or assume the woman I’m with is my friend.
Whether it’s work,
At a bar,
On the street,
Or someone’s home…
It has to be known.
For most of my lifetime,
Homophobia’s main root:
A conservative religion.
Conversion therapy’s thorny vines,
Hell awaiting upon my failure.
It wasn’t until coming out,
Unfortunately uncovered:
Liberal atheists aren’t immune.
Phrasing it diff’rently,
But it equals the same.
From in to outside the queer community:
Homophobia’s integral to society,
After years appears inherent internally.
No corporate pandering,
Nor gay pastors can fix it.
The key to being a lesbian is:
Ignore everything everyone says,
Including your internalized fear.
Unlearn the hatred taught to you,
And reject new versions of it.
Author’s Note: Pretend this was published a week ago for the last day of Pride month 🙂
Brittan began writing poetry in June 2020. She uses poetry as a therapeutic exercise when revisiting homophobic traumatic memories and describing life with BPD & Bipolar 2. She uses poetry as a medium for self-expression when discussing Buddhism, lesbianism, and platonic love.
Mindfully Messy 