I don’t know who’s appearance you have,
I don’t know what passions ignite your soul.
I don’t know where we’ll meet,
I don’t know when that’ll be.
I don’t know why you’ll choose me,
I don’t know how I’ll let you.
I know only one thing:
You were born a woman.
“Choose to challenge,”
Women’s day theme.
Countless options,
Yet one stands out.
What factor questions gender norms,
More than same-sex attraction?
No matter how else you match the roles,
A glaring invisible triangle.
That one fact in common,
Leads to countless questions…
What environment enclosed,
For your most delicate years?
Who taught you womanhood,
Did it appear lesser?
When heels squeezed your toes,
Was it forced or fun?
How have your Sapphic emotions met,
With hostility or acceptance?
Where was the rarity first noticed,
In your heart, mind, spirit, or body?
Why did you decide to allow it,
If such decision casts you away?
Exploring all corners of Earth,
While always remaining at home.
Instigating growth within both,
Contributing where other lacks.
A trust built from understanding,
A love safe from impurity.
I can see our life together,
But I cannot see your face.
For now,
I’ll ask.
And one day,
You’ll answer.
Author’s Note: Brittan began writing poetry in June 2020. She uses poetry as a therapeutic exercise when revisiting homophobic traumatic memories and describing life with BPD & Bipolar 2. She uses poetry as a medium for self-expression when discussing Buddhism, lesbianism, and platonic love.
Mindfully Messy 
“I don’t know why you’ll choose me,
I don’t know how I’ll let you.”
I can completely relate to this. I felt that way before meeting my husband. It was difficult to imagine someone choosing me as the one person they wanted to spend their life with and difficult to imagine me feeling comfortable and certain enough to allow them to.
“A glaring invisible triangle.”
You know I love a good poetic contradiction, so that was a favorite line.
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