I’m Crazy, Not Stupid | Living with BPD


If only I would’ve been stupid,

It would’ve been unable to hide.

If therapists could’ve read my mind,

The diagnosis would’ve been easy.

Those 10 years of decay,

My symptoms were right there,

Finally reached the surface.

I’m not stupid,

But I was lifeless.

Continue reading “I’m Crazy, Not Stupid | Living with BPD”

My Mind is Under New Management | Living with BPD & Bipolar


You did your job,

You protected the child.

You’re too good at your job,

I’m not a child anymore.

Continue reading “My Mind is Under New Management | Living with BPD & Bipolar”

Content | Living with Bipolar Disorder


Author’s Note: This is the first time in 10 years I haven’t been in a depressive (or 5% of the time hypomanic) episode. 

I forgot how this feels:

Content

The absence of external stimuli,

Coupled with a lack of internal.

And yet?

Not surrounded by misery,

Not consumed by fatigue,

Not drowned by disinterest.

Instead?

Continue reading “Content | Living with Bipolar Disorder”

The 5th Time I Was Misdiagnosed | Living with BPD

Disclaimer: This poem DOES NOT mean you shouldn’t go to therapy! In fact, EVERYONE should go to therapy! However, if you think there is even a SLIGHT chance you have a personality disorder, GO TO AN EXPERT. Not a general therapist. Don’t make the same mistake I made 5 times. It took an expert 6 months to fully diagnose what 5+ years of various forms of therapy couldn’t even guess.

If you are a therapist, please read (or scroll) to the end for signs/clues you should know regarding the 9 symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.


When it happens 5 times,

You’re pretty sure it’s reality.

You must just be evil.

You must just be broken.

You must just be worthless.

It isn’t a disorder,

It’s you.

That was the fear.

No, not a fear —

That was the reality.

A reality. 

Continue reading “The 5th Time I Was Misdiagnosed | Living with BPD”