I can’t quite reach it
I’m hitting up against a wall
If only it was physical
Not a wall in my mind. . .
Write a line of consciousness to attempt to coax the memory:
“I can almost remember, I can almost get there. But just keep hitting into something. It’s like a part of my mind is locked up. I logically know my brain did this to protect me from pain, but I need to undo it. How can I when I locked them away at such a young age?
The pain of not remembering isn’t better…it’s making it impossible to deal with my evil side*. I can’t remember how and why this was formed. I have to remember. I have to let in the temporary pain to let the permanent pain lessen.”
*During therapeutic free-writings, I typically refer to “my evil side” to mean the more extreme symptoms of Borderline PD. Additionally, when someone from the general public reads unofficial online blogs (like this one!) about personality disorders they are often left with misunderstandings and fear. Hence why so many story villains have obvious symptoms for “Cluster B” personality disorders (Borderline, Antisocial, and Narcissistic) especially.*
Author’s Note: The clinical understanding of “repressed memory” has grown a lot in the last few years, which led to changing the term to “amnesia walls/blocks” within “traumatic dissociation”