“What’s Buddhism?” | Eightfold Path: Right Speech

Whenever I’m asked to explain Buddhism,

My mind goes into immediate hyperdrive,

My soul scrambles to discover the right words,

How do I know which are the right words,

When I’m not an enlightened being?

How do I align with teachings of right speech,

When I must explain such a personal thing?

Continue reading ““What’s Buddhism?” | Eightfold Path: Right Speech”

What’s the Purpose of Poetry?


You can’t hear my words,

You can’t sing along to the tune,

You can’t listen for comfort in isolation.


You can’t watch my words,

You can’t view the imagery,

You can’t see descriptions as distraction.

Continue reading “What’s the Purpose of Poetry?”

My Mother, My Angel

A mother and her youngest child:

All of my firsts were all of her lasts.

I was the final offspring she nourished,

Both inside and outside of the womb.

I was the final bird to fly the nest,

Did she notice my broken wings?

Continue reading “My Mother, My Angel”

True & Constant | Big & Little

“True & Constant”

I fully believed those words,

One main reason I chose Nu.

I will always believe in the “4 Ls,”

I believed in them long before Nu,

With an intensity I didn’t often see.

But you always did.

And I always noticed.


I will be honest:

I did not want a Big.

Continue reading “True & Constant | Big & Little”

Not Forgotten, Hidden | 9 BPD Symptoms: Dissociative Amnesia

Author’s Note: Terms matter. Words have deeper meanings than letters strung together for a common understanding. Language affects the very way humans perceive the world. That’s why everyone (including myself) should learn a new language vastly different than our native tongues — who knows what we could unlock!

“Dissociative symptoms are common in Borderline Personality Disorder, including memory loss (dissociative amnesia) for certain time periods, events, and people.” [Source]


Memory loss was called:

“Repressed memory.”

Reach in somewhere,

Grab something,

Stuck someplace,

Yank it forward.

THAT IS NOT IT.

Continue reading “Not Forgotten, Hidden | 9 BPD Symptoms: Dissociative Amnesia”

Femme vs. Butch | Internalized Homophobia Poetry Therapy

Author’s Note: This poem addresses a lesbian community topic of femmes and butches. These terms are exclusively used by lesbians for specific purposes, but not all lesbians use them. Personally, I use “femme” and “lipstick lesbian.” This poem uses the term “tomboy” (mainstream use for straight girls) and “butch” (subculture use for masculine-presenting lesbians).

Resources explaining / discussing femme and butch lesbian subcultures.

IMPORTANT: Do not misinterpret “femme” and “butch” to decide: “Who’s the man and who’s the woman?” THAT IS NOT WHAT THOSE TERMS MEAN. There are plenty of femme–femme (aka me and my future wife) and butch–butch relationships.


“I think the world of you…”

Begins the Facebook message.

I have not read the rest.

Guilt.

Crushing guilt.

Continue reading “Femme vs. Butch | Internalized Homophobia Poetry Therapy”

Power of Friendship Poem | Farewell Oregon

My friendships made me feel love,

When I didn’t allow romance.

My friendships kept me warm,

When all I could feel was cold.

Without real friendship,

Without platonic love,

I wouldn’t be alive.

Continue reading “Power of Friendship Poem | Farewell Oregon”

Content | Living with Bipolar Disorder

I forgot how this feels:

Content

The absence of external stimuli,

Coupled with a lack of internal.

And yet?

Not surrounded by misery,

Not consumed by fatigue,

Not drowned by disinterest.

Instead?

Continue reading “Content | Living with Bipolar Disorder”

Dear Perfect Mormon | Internalized-Homophobia Poetry Therapy

Dear P,

To be honest, 

You scared me.

You were the perfect Mormon example.

You were everything I wanted to be,

Everything I — needed to be.

So I chose to walk behind you,

Hoping you’d show me the way.

Show me how to be a good Mormon,

How to be a good heterosexual girl.

How to be good at all. . .

Continue reading “Dear Perfect Mormon | Internalized-Homophobia Poetry Therapy”