Don’t Write It Down | Living with Borderline Personality Disorder

No actual thoughts in my adolescent diaries,

Only what happened during my day.

All so boring,

So sterile.


What happened at school,

What happened at church,

What happened at work,

What happened at home.


Nothing on my thoughts.

“Your thoughts are normal, no need to keep track.”

Nothing on what I want from life.

“Your life won’t last long, no need to fantasize.”


I don’t care what happened during my day,

I care about what I felt during my day.

But I didn’t write it down,

Writing it down makes it real.

Imagine the Blessed Day | Lesbophobia Childhood Trauma

“I’m not getting married”

…to a man was unsaid.


Not imaginable, the day

Nor the flowers, or bouquet


What a day it could be!

Those purest gathered around us,

Sharing the moment two souls join in God.


“What will he look like?”

Why can’t I see him?


“What will he say to you?”

Why can’t I hear him?


“What will his personality be?”

Why can’t I imagine him?


“Imagine the blessed day,

your wedding day,

an eternal husband awaits.”

Why can’t I breathe?